Waiting

The waiting is the hardest part.

Day 3 - still 7 perfect little embryos, dividing just as they should. Transfer set for Sunday. And I'm going crazy. They aren't even in me and I already feel like I'm pregnant, knowing they're growing so well, and wanting to shout it from the rooftops. At the same time, I have to wait to transfer, wait for implantation to occur, and then wait to see if the growth continues and progresses and for the positive pregnancy test, which won't officially happen for two more weeks!

Sometimes I worry that I'm putting too much hope on this working. Based on all the research I've done, the age effect sorts itself out in egg retrieval and survival to day 5, but there is little to no age difference for the blastocyst transfers. So I'm giving myself 50/50 odds for this single embryo transfer, and feeling confident that at least two will be frozen in case it doesn't take. So I don't know, does this make me overly optimistic, or cautiously realistic?  I really really really (infinity) hope this works, but if it doesn't, I can enjoy lots of wine and chocolate and coffee over the holidays because I have back-up. I haven't had wine or caffeinated coffee/tea and very little chocolate since the IVF cycle began. I've been a very good IVF patient. I already eat like I'm pregnant. I take my vitamins. I take my progesterone. I eat my veggies and fresh fruit and yogurt. I haven't dug out the maternity clothes box, even though I'm tempted (I was especially tempted with the extreme bloating leading up to retrieval). I wish there was something more I could do, but all I can do is wait. And the waiting is the hardest part.